serpercival

with all the rumors flying around on tumblr, i've been glad to see more people considering trying dreamwidth. like. do i really think tumblr is going to shut down? no lmao. they've had so many nearly identical false alarms that it's almost comical. but i do hope the conversation makes people think about picking dreamwidth back up or, if they weren't around for the time that LJ/DW were more popular, about trying something new. i really miss the lj days and i love the way dreamwidth's UI prioritizes commenting/direct communication. i think it has the potential to kind of revive the actual community aspect of fandom that seems to be dying on tumblr.

i reached out to support today about taking on administration of the dead m*a*s*h communities at already exist here. if the old admins are inactive but want to retain control, i can just start a new community, but i think it would be nice to revive the old one(s). there's a lot of community events/projects that would be fun to run here that i've been wanting to get going and, while they've been on the back burner for a few months due to my personal life and mental health being on fire, i'm starting to feel that prickle of motivation again for the first time in a long time, and i really hope it sticks around.

personal/vague references to fandom "drama", i'm being a baby here, be warned

i've been preparing to have a conversation with someone soon regarding a situation that has been really difficult/hard on my mental health and depending on how they respond, things could go really well/improve but they could also go really poorly. they've been really kind in all our interactions since i reached out a few days ago, so my hopes are a little high, but i'm trying not to let them get up too far because i just don't know what they're going to say, and my luck (in general) has been non-existent for a long time. but i've been punishing myself/self isolating for months and i'm reaching my breaking point. i'm so nervous and i've prepared what i'm going to say to start the conversation (basically laying out all of my shit but like. explicitly in a morally neutral way just to let the other person see where i've been coming from) because i'm not very good at winging it and i'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing and being misunderstood, so it helps to have everything written out. but also i worry that that's annoying and adjnfalla. anyway. i'm anxious and i hope it goes well, but if things go poorly, maybe i'll still be able to build a nice space here, but if they go well, maybe i could have both.

anyway there's so many things i need to get done that i'm avoiding by puttering around on dreamwidth, refamiliarizing myself with how everything works, etc. but i really need to finish my spanish ci for the day and also make banana bread before my bananas get too ripe. speaking of food, one of my housemates just messaged me that they took "half of my rice" and that they're going to win-co tomorrow, so they'll replace it but like. i'm just over here quietly being really annoyed bc rice is the one food thing that i've been continuing to get the nice/good quality brand that i like during my unemployment and they're not going to have the nice japanese rice that i eat at win-co. and it's not like i'm unwilling to share - i'm always happy to share. i just wish they'd asked, especially since they took such a huge amount.

but alas. not worth dwelling on, just throwing it out into the void in an attempt to get it off my mind.